(From guest blogger Rev. Celie Katovitch. Rev. Celie has been a member of Spiritus Christi for 7 years. March 1 was her first day as a parish priest at Spiritus. )
What a beautiful trio of scripture readings we have for today. The first two harmonize around the theme of listening. First, the prophet Jeremiah speaks powerfully about the need to take time to incline “the ears of our hearts”— as the old phrase goes— toward God, so that we can know and do what is right. Then the Psalmist offers one of my favorite verses in the Bible: “if today you hear God’s voice, harden not your hearts.” Many of us are nurturing a spiritual practice of listening during this Lenten season by taking some time each morning or evening to sit in silence with a candle and a cup of tea or coffee, and simply be open to God’s presence.
When I was preparing to become a priest, I met for several years with a spiritual director. She was a soul friend who was there to help me listen deeply for what God’s specific wish for my life was. This was a careful sifting, of the kind described by Jesus in the Gospel passage. We listen to our lives, and try to notice the movement of the Spirit. We sort through our feelings, thoughts, and motivations, to come to a deeper understanding of which internal voices are genuine and come from God, and which come from another, less trustworthy source— what the Gospel’s ancient writer calls “Beelzebul,” and what we might call the voice of fear, or ego, or any of the other personal demons we know ourselves to have. Ignatian spirituality calls this discernment. It’s healthy to discern throughout our life, especially when we are contemplating a big change or a radical commitment. With time, through this process, God’s voice rings out clearer and clearer. We come to know it by a sense of peace, and joy. In the light of today’s Gospel, we might say that we recognize what is right and true for us by the fact that we feel un-divided. “A house divided against itself cannot stand,” Jesus counsels. When we are following God’s unique call to us, there is no sense of division, no internal struggle as if we’re pulled in two directions. Just wholeheartedness. A beautiful sign of being on the right path is an undivided heart.
With the pandemic stretching on longer than any of us could have anticipated, it feels like we haven’t known “normal” in a very long time. One year in, we likely feel some restlessness. Many of us are considering major changes whenever that elusive normal does return. Some of these will be real opportunities for transformation that we need to grab hold of. Others will shape-shift and fade as we inch back toward our usual routines once again. The important thing is to make time to do that holy work of listening, so that we can make out God’s voice and discern what we are really being called to in this moment.
In this season, may God lead us all down a path that brings us peace, joy, and wholeheartedness.
6 Comments
Sarah Brownell
I have a question: What do you do when you lose the ability to go in the direction that gave you peace, joy and fullfillment, that you thought was God’s calling for you? Maybe its an accident that causes injury or losing a dream job or financial stress or gaining caregiving responsibilities. The best I’ve come up with is making the best compromise I possibly can given the constraints of the situation, but does that mean I’m not listening well? I still struggle with feeling divided but not seeing a clear (or any) path to go in a different direction. Or maybe I just supposed to spend some good amount of time in the wilderness???
CK
Dear Sarah,
I hear the pain that is in that question for you. It is a very good question. I know I have experienced long stretches of the kind of struggle you describe, and I bet others here have as well. In those times it seems like we either listen for God and hear nothing, or else we *do* hear something but the direction we thought we needed to go in is (for whatever reason) blocked. That wilderness time is agonizing, especially when it lasts a long while. If that is where you are now, my heart is with you. You are not alone. I remember, too, spiritual ancestors like Mother Teresa and John of the Cross, who went through long dark nights of the soul… I think of Jesus’ tears in the garden, when it seemed to him that God was silent…May they be your friends and companions in a special way in this time.
Praying with you,
–Celie
Sarah A Brownell
Thanks Celie, yes, I will just keep doing the best I can over here. Happy to be in the company of such amazing people in the dark night. I think of the many Catholic women called to priesthood who probably felt like this for years until God made a way. I expect a way to come clear at some point for me 🙂
Barbara Simmons
I have often wondered about and felt envious of people who say, “God spoke to me and…” or “ I heard a voice telling me…”. I know they literally didn’t hear that voice (or least I assume they didn’t), but I think, “Who are these people that get these messages?” Maybe I am not smart enough to understand how this works? I am, by my nature, not a very patient person. I have to force myself to slow done and take time to meditate and contemplate. But even during a busy time I see and feel the presence of God. I feel a prayer in a flower, I see the pain and suffering of poor people on the streets and I feel their pain deep in my heart, or when I think of my grandchildren, I don’t just love them, a feeling of indescribable joy and gratitude washes over me. I ascribe these moments to my highly emotional personality. Are they God moments, who knows? I guess it is just difficult for me to grasp what I am listening for and when I will know I heard it.
Thank you for this reflection, Rev. Celie.
Judy Kiley
Reminders to LISTEN are always welcome! I loved this reflection, Rev Celie, and also Barb’s and Sarah’s thoughts! Each of us struggles in a variety of ways. Judy
Francene C McCarthy
I feel God’s presence mostly in nature, beauty of all kinds and a quiet church service. It is then that I can listen intently to God. Some how the answers come always in God’s timing, not my own. I’ve been through those dark times as well but try to focus on the positive and be patient. Thank you, Rev. Celie, Sarah, Barb and Judy. All of your insights are precious. Blessings, Fran
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