One of my favorite poets, David Whyte has a poem called, “All the True Vows,” in which he writes,
“All the true vows are secret vows. The ones we speak out loud are the ones we break. There is only one life you can call your own and a thousand others you can call by any name you want. Hold to the truth you make every day with your own body, don’t turn your face away. Hold to your own truth at the center of the image you were born with.”
I thought of this today when I read from Deuteronomy, “Be careful, then,to observe [my commandments] with all your heart and with all your soul. Today you are making this agreement with the LORD…And today the LORD is making this agreement with you…”
When I think about the faith life, ultimately it is not about adherence to external rules or dogma. It is a matter of our inner agreement with God that we must be faithful to. It is to our “true vows” that we must answer.
I think this is why Jesus says what he does in the gospel. He continues the “You have heard it said,” series and today says, “You have heard that it was said, You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.”
Jesus says this because he is being faithful to his own true vows and to his own agreement with God. He knows that righteousness does not lie in loving our neighbor and hating our enemy. This is not a very high bar and cannot get us to the vision of the beloved community that is God’s plan for humanity. More is required of us.
For me part of the Lenten journey is spending time with God and paying attention to our own inner movements so that we, too, might get clearer on what Whyte called the “one life you can call your own…[and the] truth at the center of the image you were born with.”
So much of my work as a counselor is helping people to unpack and unload the many external expectations, messages and ideas that others (family, educational systems, society, church) have placed upon us. For so many of us, these have clouded our ability to discern our own life (and purpose) and have crusted over our spirit and weighed us down.
In wedding or union ceremonies, a couple often “exchanges vows” which name the promises that they make to one another. Sometimes these are traditional, sometimes they are individually created. I wonder what the “vows” might look like that we would write to our selves? I wonder what the “vows” would loook like that we would write to God?
Jesus is a great model for us of listening to the agreements that we have made with God and being faithful to those. I have always loved the story that was told by the great Martin Buber about Rabbi Zusya (a very famous and wise rabbi). “Before his death, Rabbi Zusya said, ‘In the coming world, [God]will not ask me: ‘Why were you not Moses?’ [God]will ask me: ‘Why were you not Zusya?’”
There may be things that you feel called to do today. There may be people you feel compelled to reach out to. There may be words you feel that you must say. There may be situations you feel the need to refrain from. Or maybe you feel called to pay more attention to your own healing and wellness.
All of these might be emerging from a deep place in you that is trying to be true to your true vows. And doing or saying these things might cause some conflict, misunderstanding or challenge to others. Yet those may not be enough to stop you from honoring your agreement with God or honoring God’s agreement with you.
May we all have the courage to do what God has placed on our hearts and minds today.