The Grain of Wheat

March 21

Readings – JER 31:31-34; HEB 5:7-9; JN 12:20-33

I love the first reading from Jeremiah where we are told that God is making a new covenant with the people.  Unlike the prior covenant, this covenant will be “written on their hearts” and will emerge from within people.

For me this reflects deep spiritual development.  Generally when we are starting something, we often need a good deal of structure in order to “learn”.  The teaching comes from the outside.  With practice, however, the teaching becomes internalized and then starts to flow out of us.

I hear God saying today that the teachings have been so internalized that the people “know them by heart” – not that they have memorized them but that they embody them. This clearly takes practice and effort, and someone like Jesus is a good teacher on how to do this.

The gospel reading today offers us one of the more famous teachings of Jesus and one that we hear quoted at many funerals, “Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat.”  While the church interpreted this in the light of Jesus’ death, I think its meaning goes so much deeper.

I am not sure that Jesus was talking about death (the event) so much as the many deaths that we all experience every day.  These deaths are the losses and disappointments we experience and all of the things we must release or let go of.  Some of these are minor inconveniences – like our schedule or plans.  Others rearrange our entire lives – like losing a loved one or losing our health/functioning.

In nature, there are big cycles of death and rebirth as well (we’re in the rebirth part of the cycle right now as spring emerges) which also remind us that besides our individual lives, there are larger movements which we are part of.

Many spiritual teachers and faith traditions speak about the “grain of wheat” being our small self.  This small self is based in our ego and is centered on our preferences, our pleasure, our hurts, our comfort, our perspective, our values, our lifestyle, our thoughts, our feelings.  It’s not a bad part, per se.  It’s just that there’s a wider world in which that small self lives.  

Part of what we must keep learning is that our lives are not about us.  We are about life, and if we are going to live into this perspective, then we must be willing to let go and surrender in so many small and big ways.

Lent offers us this time to enter more deeply into the mystery of dying – not in some morbid way – but in a way that enables our larger self to emerge.  Generally, it is only suffering, an experience of limitation or some form of humiliation (from the root word to be close to the ground) that initiates us into the process.  For some, this happens early and/or often in life.  Others seem to have far more protection.  In either case, it cannot be avoided.

For today, think about something that your small self needs to die to so that a larger vision, perspective and wholeness can emerge.