Whoever Looks At It WIll Live

March 23

Readings – NM 21:4-9; JN 8:21-30

In an earlier blog (3/14), I referenced the reading that we hear today in Numbers.

The Israelites are in the desert having been led out of slavery.  And they complain because there’s no food or water.  God gets angry and sends serpents to bite them, and many die (there’s obviously a lot about God’s parenting that needs to be unpacked in the scriptures…). The Israelites see the error of their ways, repent and stop complaining.  God says, “Make a serpent and mount it on a pole.  Whoever looks at it will live.”

In the gospel, Jesus is deep in philosophical debate with the Pharisees who do not understand him.  At one point, however, he says, “When you lift up the Son of Man, then you will realize that I AM…” (I AM meaning that he is using the same name that God used to reveal God’s self to Moses).  This kind of talk made him so scandalous.

But it builds on the theme in Numbers.  Just as looking upon the snake (source of harm) had the power to heal, looking upon the crucified Jesus has the power to heal.

But how?

It gets me thinking about the COVID 19 vaccinations that many of us are starting to receive.  With a vaccination, we are given an inert (nonreactive) portion of the very thing that could otherwise make us sick.  Or in homeopathy, for example, we are actually given a small enough portion of the ingredient that can poison us and our body develops an immunity to it.

For so long I grew up with a theology that stressed getting it right, hiding brokenness, cultivating shame around imperfection and making sure everything looked good. Today’s readings counsel the exact opposite.  They encourage us to look upon that which has hurt us because therein lies a deep spiritual truth.

Looking at that which has harmed us is what Resmaa Menakem calls dealing with “clean pain” (see my 3/3 post), and I think this is what our biblical tradition is inviting us to do.  Resmaa calls this process, “choosing integrity [form the word integral or wholeness] over fear” as we move into an unknown state of growth.  The opposite is responding out of our fear and woundedness and passing that pain onto someone else (which hurts us as well).

This process is true at an individual as well as a collective level.  Until we address our own hurt and pain – to look upon it and let it in – we will likely not heal and be whole.

One way to begin or continue this process, in the words of Thich Nhat Hanh, is “stopping, calming and resting.” He goes on to say that these are the “preconditions for healing. If we cannot stop, the course of our destruction will just continue. The world needs healing. Individuals, communities and nations need healing.”

This is clearly a tall order, but it starts small (just like homeopathy) and it starts, ironically, with stopping!

For today, be still for a little bit and reflect on something that has caused you pain or shame.  Think about an area of life where you experience brokenness. In prayer, offer that to God as you breathe in and out. See what else might be there.  Is there a deeper wisdom or knowing beneath the pain?  Has something about that part of you been obscured by the shame or grief?  Is another part of you yearning to emerge?

Lent is a perfect time for this inner work.