Wednesday of Holy Week
Readings: IS 50:4-9A; MT 26:14-25
We just heard this reading from Isaiah as part of the Sunday cycle, so I won’t say much more on it other than what I wrote the other day.
The gospel tells the story of how Judas plotted against Jesus in exchange for silver. Then at the Passover celebration, Jesus tells his friends, “One of you will betray me.” Even Judas says, “Surely it is not I…” But Jesus knows otherwise.
We are consistently told by scripture that Judas was “one of the twelve” – so there’s no attempt to claim that he was not one of Jesus’ inner circle. In some places, he is described as being greedy, but that alone does not seem to account for his betrayal. While he may have thought he could stand to profit off of Jesus’ ministry, it would seem strange to me that he would try to get rid of Jesus (the source of his income!).
Another theory for the betrayal is that Judas was a kind of militant who was disappointed that Jesus was not doing MORE to overthrow the political and religious leaders. He recognized Jesus’ power and could not understand why Jesus didn’t use it. Some speculate that his betrayal was actually a set up in order to get Jesus to act in the garden. But, instead, Jesus chose a nonviolent path.
Others say that Judas was from a different region than the other disciples and grew tired of what he might have perceived as preferential treatment of those close to Jesus. People like Peter may have gotten all of the attention, and Judas felt left out of the equation. Jealousy and resentment can lead us to do some pretty rash things sometimes.
But theologian Barbara Brown Taylor gives an explanation in one of her sermons that I had not heard before. She says that
Maybe he [Judas] just fell out of love with Jesus. That happens sometimes. One day you think someone is wonderful and the next day he says or does something that makes you think twice. He reminds you of the difference between the two of you and you start hating him for that – for the difference – enough to begin thinking of some way to hurt him back.
He just fell out of love with Jesus.
We all might be able to relate to that somehow – especially if we have gone through some rough patches in a relationship and/or a painful separation or rupture. We might also relate if we’ve been disillusioned by someone or if we attach to them the parts of ourselves that we can’t stand. Whatever the case, when we start to go down that road and we don’t take steps to address our own woundedness, well, it usually doesn’t end well.
All of us have been betrayed and hurt in relationships somehow, and today’s readings honor that grief that we feel. And the reality is that almost all of us have betrayed and hurt others in relationships because of our shortsightedness, our pettiness, our own jealousy or selfishness. It is an easy thing to demonize Judas. It is less easy to identify with him and learn from him as a teacher.
For today, just hold the pain of relationships that have not ended well – no matter whose “fault” it was that they ended this way. Notice who you want to hurt back because they hurt you somehow. Feel that grief and trust that God is with you on the journey as you release the pain.