Give Voice To What Hurts And Exhale

I have often said that, for all their problems, the scriptures are very human. As we move towards the climax of Holy Week, we’re confronted today with disappointment and discouragement, betrayal and loss.

The prophet Isaiah (ch. 49) laments, “I thought I had toiled in vain, and for nothing, uselessly, spent my strength…”

Have you ever felt that way? You poured yourself into a project, a team, a relationship of some kind only to find that it wasn’t what you thought and didn’t turn out like you wanted it to. Or maybe it was a health diagnosis or significant loss that totally rearranged your life plan.

As if this were not enough, John’s gospel (ch. 13) recounts Jesus’ sitting down with his friends for one of his last times and is confronted with Judas’ betrayal and predicts Peter’s denying him.

There’s just no sugar-coating or silver lining today. Bottom line is, people are going to disappoint us, betray us and/or let us down. Life is going to sweep the rug out from under us. And some of these hurts really sting and stay with us.

One of my favorite books of the bible is the Book of Lamentations. In that book, the author speaks to a series of challenges and misfortunes that are present. It is also a book in which the voice of God is silent. God offers no word of explanation or comfort, per se, to the laments that are presented (similar to the book of Job).

I say it’s one of my “favorite” books because I feel like it gives me permission to name all the things that hurt and not necessarily feel like I am complaining. It is just a naming of what is and what hurts.

What disappointments, betrayals, let downs, abandonments or harms would you list today?

Sometimes life is just that way. Being embodied creatures is hard. And being humans is even harder, in part because we also make up stories about why things are happening. If a squirrel gets injured by a passing car, it does not tell itself a story about its childhood and say, “See bad things always happen to me!” And the other squirrels don’t gather around and say, “If you had just listened to us, that car would never have hit you.”

Some of the pain we experience is from the event itself and some is from the story we tell about the event. And some of the pain we feel from what others do has nothing to do with us. (I often think about Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements, one of which is not taking things personally.)

Therapist and minister, Wayne Muller, says that “our life is a pilgrimage made only of days.” 

All we have before us is today – no matter what happened yesterday and no matter what will happen tomorrow – and sometimes the best we can do is name our lamentation and then release ourselves and this world into God’s embrace. As the Psalm for today (71) says, “In you, O God, I take refuge…incline your ear to me…Be my rock of refuge…For you are my hope, O God.”

In the early 1900’s, British explorer Ernest Shackelton was trying to assemble a team to go to the Antarctic with him. It was a perilous expedition, and the newspaper recruitment ad simply read, “[People] wanted for hazardous journey. Low wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful.” Sometimes I think the life journey should be advertised similarly. While this is not ALL it is, some days it feels that way.

For today, just hold all that is in your heart. Give it to God. Speak your lament and release it. Give voice to what hurts and exhale. Try to release any stories associated with the hurt and disappointment. Try to release taking what happened personally. Find refuge in God’s grace somehow.