Life Hurts

Life Hurts

March 30

Readings – IS 49:1-6; JN 13:21-33, 36-38

Holy Week certainly doesn’t pull any punches.  It’s only Tuesday and some hard truths are already coming at us.

Isaiah tells us that the “servant of God” is disillusioned and discouraged and wonders if their efforts were in vain.

And then Jesus tells his disciples that “one of you will betray me.”   He doesn’t say “if” someone will betray him.  He says “when.”

I think this is true for our lives as well.  It’s not “if” life disappoints, disillusions, discourages or betrays us, it’s “when.”

I mean who among us has not felt like giving up at some point?  Who among us has not wondered if all of our efforts in a relationship or endeavor were in vain?  Who among us has not been betrayed by someone we loved or “thrown under the bus” by a trusted friend, colleague or family member?

These are all the things that happened to Jesus and are happening to him this week.  Just when he needed people to come forward, they backed up.  Just when he needed support, they deny or betray him.  And it hurts.  Even Peter who makes the bold promise that he will lay down his life for Jesus will not hold up his end of the bargain.

And, somehow, Jesus understands all of this and does not get resentful, petty and blaming.

There’s no easy answer anyone can give for these things.  They seem to be part of the brokenness of the world and the fragility of human relationships.  It does not mean that we cannot trust people.  It just means that people are people and we, too, have let people down and not been there for them when they needed us. And people haven’t been there for us.

I have always loved the saying that was allegedly in Mother Theresa’s orphanage (which I have seen attributed to a man named Keith Kent) and I think it is something we can aspire to (and will likely never achieve – which is yet another disappointment!):

“People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”

The journey of Jesus this week takes some serious spiritual work. At a fundamental level, I know that Jesus was hurt by what happened to him.  But at a deeper level, he did not stop being who he was here to be and to do what was his to do.  He offers us a model of how to let the pain rest with us and not get transmitted onto someone else.  This does not mean that we should be a doormat or a punching bag for others.  But it does mean that, maybe, we are called to not retaliate, try to get even or respond in kind.  Another way is possible, if we can remain in the process.

For today, just reflect upon the humanity of Jesus and on your humanity.  Know that he has felt the pain that we feel and understands hurts that happen to us in our relationships.  Let him speak to you – words of comfort and ease – that enable you to let go and just be in this moment.

14 Comments

    Karen

    Whew. Your message couldn’t have arrived at a more opportune time. How I needed this!! On a personal level, I’ve prayed for guidance and there it is. And on a community and national level, we need to take heed to your message as welll – with the political landscape and George Floyd’s trial, it’s easy to become jaded and discouraged. Love anyway. Reach out anyway. Create an atmosphere of peace anyway. Thank you, Mike. I’m sure your daily readings are impacting many. God bless.

    Sarah Brownell

    I love the Kent quote. A good reminder… and I like that it doesn’t say “trust them anyway, let them into the deepest parts of your life, anyway”. One can forgive and be kind, etc. without exposing oneself to continued abuse. I can forgive and feel compassion to someone that hurt me, but I don’t need to start a business with them or be their roomate. At funerals at St. Joe’s, family members of our guests who died would say “We loved him very much and always tried to help him the best we could, but we couldn’t have him live with us anymore. His lifestyle was too destructive.” That is why places like St. Joe’s exist–sometime the ones we love are too close to us to not be destroyed by us. And that’s where others can step in…

      Mike Boucher Author

      Sarah, I appreciate that reflection – especially the part about not having to trust or subject ourselves to continued abuse. I always try to differentiate between forgiveness and reconciliation. You can’t have reconciliation without forgiveness, but you can have forgiveness without reconciliation. And I do believe that some relationships may not be able to be reconciled (in this lifetime or not yet) and so forgiveness may be all we can or want to try to do (as if that’s not a big enough task!). thanks for your continued wisdom on so many things. You have so much life experience that you draw from and make available to us. I appreciate it.

    Kathryn Franz

    The quote is a real keeper… and a worthy one to share with friends and family.
    Those words are the rudder that will keep my ship steady.
    Thank you!

    Thomas P Dwyer

    Really appreciate all your writings and reflections Bill.I have found great meaning in them and has inspired me to go deeper into God. Edwina’s speaking was awesome as well as your homily on Psalm Sunday. Was Edwina’s message recorded where we can view it again.

    There is so much substance in all of these homilies, writings that I need to spend so much more time with. I am encouraged!

    Peace and God’s blessing to you, Lynn and your family. Happy Holy Week!

    Patrick Dwyer

      Mike Boucher Author

      thanks for the affirmation, Patrick. yes, Edwina was recorded. We’re trying to find a way to make it available in the near future.

    Mary Stazie

    Thank you for emailing this statement of truth. I certainly needed it. God bless you.

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