This past weekend, I was able to spend some time in Detroit with my daughter, Kateri. Her partner, Joe Riley, is a singer/songwriter (among other things) and shared with us a beautiful song he will record soon related to liminal space. The next day at church (where Kateri helps to pastor the community), we heard a reading from Genesis 32 where Jacob wrestles with an angel of God.
Liminality was on my mind!
I first heard the word “liminal space” (which at its root it means “threshold”) associated with the work of the anthropologist Victor Turner who studied rites of passage. Turner said that rites of passage offered participants a sense of liminality between the start and end of the process. During that liminality, one loses a sense of orientation and grounding in what was familiar. It is a space where one needs to surrender the former identity and way of knowing or moving through the world so that a new identity and way of knowing might emerge. But because one has not arrived at the next place, liminality can be a challenging place to be and liminal space requires a good deal of trust.
Good religion should offer people liminal space as do the “seasons” of the chuch calendar (especially times like Lent or Advent). We’re not supposed to come out the way we go in!
Also, liminal space does not just find us during a rite of passage. It can find us after a medical diagnosis or form of disability. Or maybe after a relationship breakup or loss of employment. Sometimes there are social and cultural shifts that thrust into a state of liminality as well. A lot of routes can lead us into liminal space if we are open to it.
In the reading from Genesis 32, we hear the story of Jacob which you may be familiar with. In the story, he has just sent all of the people who are close to him and all of his possessions across the river, and he is alone. All we are told is that a person then wrestles with him until daybreak.
I don’t know about you, but I can relate to that story already. There have been many stressful nights in my life where I felt alone and like I wrestled with someone (or something) all night! And the fact that the story takes place in the darkness is another way of telling us that this is a story about losing our way and then finding it again.
We’re told that the person Jacob is wrestling with realizes that Jacob is not going to give up, and so the stranger touches Jacob’s hip and injures him. The stranger tells Jacob to let him go, but Jacob refuses and says that the stranger must bless him. The stranger then gives Jacob a new name (Israel) and Jacob now comes to realize that he has, in fact, wrestled with God.
Because this is a blog and I am trying to keep my commentary short, I will say just a few things.
First, anytime we’re going through a form of liminal space, there is a solitary nature to that journey. While we may find community and others who have been there before us, we go there on our own.
Second, it can feel like wrestling when we’re going through this! The loss of identity and orientation can be exhausting, scary and even debilitating at times.
Third, there is always some form of “wounding” that happens to us. There is no way for us to grow through these transformative experiences without some form of suffering. This may be a form of ego-wounding, emotional pain, or a “dark night of the soul”, but we do not get through these experiences unscathed.
Finally, when we come out the other side, we have a new name and identity. While we may feel and look like ourselves, part of us has fundamentally changed.
Why I love this story so much, is that it gives me hope.
Whether we are in the midst of some liminal space, just coming out of it or aware that we will be entering it at some point (yet again), Jacob’s journey reminds us that we can “wrestle with God” and find our way through. It may not be easy and it may be exhausting, but if we can somehow persevere, there will be a blessing given to us and a new identity that we can live into.
Now mind you, the story ends by telling us that Jacob walked with a limp thereafter…
Lest we think our scriptures are promising that life is all rainbows and sweetness, we’re reminded that the woundedness remains with us somehow. BUT the wounds do not prevail or determine our identity any longer. Those get transformed by God.
Wherever you are in life right now, may you be strengthened to keep on keeping on.
14 Comments
Karen Keenan
Wow, I love this, Mike. It is the clearest description of the mystery of liminal space that I have seen. Most times, I dread those liminal spaces because they are scary, and I often spend a fair amount of time resisting them/being in denial, but I know what you say is true – that by surrendering our ego and being open to the process- that also opens us up to the grace and blessings and new life that comes through. Thank you for this eloquent, hopeful message!
Fran Cardella
This blog provides a beautiful point of reflection for each of us who reads it. Liminal space is something that can be difficult for others to accept when a loved one is there. But how do we grow in love and closeness to God without the struggles that liminal space most often ask that we navigate?
And I know, from personal experience, that liminal space isn’t just something experienced by the young. We seniors very often find transitions as the seasons of our lives approach and begin to navigate late fall and winter.
Thank you Mike for giving this blog. It seems that God often provides timely pieces like this at the hands of talented writers and thoughtful people…..like yourself.
Anne
Thank you, Mike. as always God’s Holy Spirit speaks to me through your words.
You describe what I am going through right now and give me hope that its part of the journey and I’m not alone.
Diane Lee
Mike, as we begin a new journey with a new ministry leader at North Anderson Church here in SC, this liminal space is all too real. His message Sunday was as affirming as yours… to hold on and don’t let go.. even if we always have that limp! Blessings.
Mary
Grateful for this. Thank you, Mike!!
Stephen T Tedesco
Is it always a negative intensely emotional space? Jacob struggles with God. I would expect there was a lot of intense fear, uncertainty, loneliness in liminal space.
Tom Coyle
Thank you Mike !
Heavy stuff , but wonderful heart , soul , and life itself searching thoughts ! I have a slight limp too ?! God Bless !
Rosie
Wow! Talk about “words of another thought process” coming at the right time… Thank you
Claire
Thank you, Mike. I can really relate to this. I can see the wounds of my past have led to growth and while I might want the wounds to disappear completely, I find they are still with me ever reminding me that these very wounds have transformed me.
Virginia Biggie
I needed this right now! Thank you for giving me “tools” for my journey❤️
Patricia Hart
Once again I can relate to the concept of liminal space and how to embrace it. I just forwarded it to a close friend who is re-evaluating her life and her journey.
Grateful to you!
Nannette Dusseault
Mike, I’m so grateful for your gifts. Thank you so much!
I quickly read this yesterday and forwarded it to my best friend of many decades who just lost her mother to old age. Even though I’ve traveled a path similar to hers, I’ve been unsure about how to comfort her. I sent your reflection, not fully understanding it, but knowing it was powerful — and knowing she would understand.
Here’s her reply:
I’m speechless.
How did you get this to
Me
At the exact time
I needed it?
Will read and reread this many times in the coming weeks.
These words, these concepts, give me such hope.
Bless you Nannette, for always finding new ways to comfort me!
Judene
WOW — There are so many times, Mike, when your blogs really resonate with me, but this one in particular felt so much like God(dess) was speaking directly to my heart, and it touched me in such a compassionate and encouraging way, which I desperately needed. Thank you for being such a open and intuitive conduit between the wisdom and love of the Holy Spirit and those of that need to hear the message.
Jean Mastrella
Thank you so very much for this. I have been there more than once. Your insight is inspirational and comforting. I will come back to this to reexamine things I would rather have forgotten, but now I’m glad to have the reference point.
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