Tuesday, May 26
When I was eighteen years old and attending Humboldt State University in the redwoods of northern California, a speaker came to the college. He was Leo Buscaglia, a professor from USC where he taught the course LOVE 1A. Leo was a large Italian man with a graying beard and dancing eyes and a hearty laugh. For one hour, he captivated his audience of young adults with stories of living life. He told us how after eating a delicious in a restaurant, he would go back into the kitchen to call out the chef and praise him for the delicious food. He talked about Mama and how she gathered them all for a huge feast when times were tough. He shared stories about cab drivers and lab techs and custodians that he had made friends with. When he was done speaking, he offered to hang around for a while and give out hugs. Five hundred college students lined up and patiently waited for his big arms to crush them in a bear hug – fifteen seconds of feeling loved and secure and wanted. We didn’t know how much we needed it, until we had it.
Leo Buscaglia wrote, “It’s not enough to have lived. We should determine to live for something. May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of personkind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely.” Only you will be able to discover, realize, develop and actualize your uniqueness. And when you do, it’s your duty to then “give it away.”
I like to shop at Rubino’s Italian foods on East Ridge Road. The fresh bread and deli cheeses are great, but what I love the most is how the staff interacts with the customers. Simple things like “What can I do for you, honey?” and “How’s your day going today?” or “Try this pepperoni – what do you think?” They talk to me like we are friends, and because of that, we are.
I’ve learned to talk to the people I see every day in the same way…as people I want to get to know. That is not how I grew up. My parents were polite, but not friendly with the people they interacted with throughout the day. Their compliments were reserved for exceptional service and even then, the praise was given to the manager to pass on. They were good people who believed that expressions of friendship and love were reserved for those close to you.
But love does not need to be limited to those we know well. Like Leo, we can distribute expressions of love all day long – anyone is a potential recipient. Recently, a car pulled up next to me at a red light. The windows were down, the music was blaring, and the teen driver was slouched down in his seat. I remembered when I was a teenager we would have called him a “Low-rider”. I looked over, smiled, and gave him a thumbs up. His hard look melted away and his face lit up. He gave me a peace sign and drove away.
Throughout the day, there are many people we can give a thumbs up to…a parking attendant, a grocery clerk, a ticket taker, a concession stand worker, a plumber, a neighbor. “Hey, your yard looks great!” “Thanks for taking care of my car.” “Your smile is better than the ice cream!” “I really appreciate the work you just did on my house – thanks for coming out today.” Or just “How’s your day going today?” And when the person responds, ask a follow-up question. Then the person will know you are really interested.
When social distancing began and we all went to our homes, I received a letter from a woman I have not seen or talked to in fifteen years. It was a handwritten note telling me how much I meant to her and relaying times we had shared together. It brightened my day and warmed my heart. It was a gift to know that she had remembered me and had taken the time to let me know. I placed the letter in a book I look at occasionally, so I could find it again in the future and remember.
These little acts of love are like deposits into our heart savings account. They stay there to remind us we are loved and to be drawn upon when we need to share that love with someone else.
Love is often depicted as an intimate experience between people who know each other well or as two souls drawn to one another. But love is much more than that. It is an infinitely expanding emotion that cannot be contained within a defined set of experiences. It spills over into our interactions with strangers and rises up in response to news flashes about people we’ll never meet. Remember when the Twin Towers came down on 9/11/2001? The city block was covered with flowers from all over the world and condolences written in every language coming from individual people wanting to heal our broken hearts with their love. I find that to be a miracle – that people across the planet would take the time to comfort people they will never meet. I want that miracle of compassionate love to be in my heart.
When we touch the power of love either by giving it or receiving it, we feel differently about the world and about ourselves. We are no longer on our own, but instead we are connected. We have tapped into a divine love, powerful enough to send shooting stars across the night sky. We are part of something so much bigger than ourselves. We are love.
18 Comments
Barb
Even now, beneath mask-covered faces, we can say so much with our eyes. I can tell when someone is smiling back at me by their eyes. Maybe the mask is kind of a safety net through which we can train ourselves to be less reserved with our love when the masks come off. Mary, you’re so right: “When we touch the power of love…we feel differently…connected.” And, yes, “Love never fails.”
Mary Ramerman Author
Thank you for the reminder that we can communicate love with our eyes. Sometimes I’m so focused on wearing my mask and keeping my distance, I forget that.
Love, Mary
Kathy K.
👍
Barb
Message of spreading love more important today than ever…helps to bring a little joy into each day😃Barb D
Mary Ramerman Author
One smile at a time!
Marilyn
Thank you so much for this. It has touched my heart beyond measure. God Bless you with much love returned.
Mary Ramerman Author
I’m happy to hear that, Marilyn. Thank you for the blessing.
Love, Mary
Diane Seebach
That was beautiful, Mary. What the world needs now is love, sweet love. Blessings to you today… Love, Diane
Mary Ramerman Author
I love that song!
Colleen Fox-Salah
A lovely entry. I have found that I’m better off focusing on cultivating an overall loving energy than making conscious attempts at being loving. I’ve wondered if this is a cop-out to accommodate a character flaw I should change. Thank you for validating that my primary ministry, being kind and attentive to whomever I may encounter in the moments our paths cross, is an important one.
Mary Ramerman Author
Colleen,
What came to me as I read your comment was how Jesus was kind and attentive to the people he encountered along his way…your path of “cultivating a loving energy” resonates with his life.
Love, Mary
Francene C McCarthy
Dear Mary,
I LOVE Leo Buscaglia and read a couple of his books while in college so long ago. What a blessing that you brought those memories back and with the perfect meditation. A Christian counselor told me long ago that if you can substitute a person’s name for “love” you have found the right one…
Thank you for all the LOVE you share!
Love and blessings,
Fran
Mary Ramerman Author
I like that Fran…thank you!
Sally Partner
I have been doing more and more grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s since the pandemic. They have a strict limit of 39 people in the store at any time, so I often wait in line for 20-30 minutes. They make it enjoyable-cheerful staff going up and down the line asking how you are doing. One week, a young man telling corny jokes. When you go in, friendly staff abound and the checkout folks beam when you compliment the experience. Usually impatient Sally enjoys the wait and the whole experience. Such great energy.
Mary Ramerman Author
Love this story, Sally!
Karen Keenan
Thank you Mary, this is so beautiful. It is so true that we feel differently about ourselves and the world when we give or receive love It is a good reminder that the divine love is always available for us to tap into, in the everyday moments of our lives. In some ways it is such a simple thing, but as you say, it has the power of the shooting stars. I feel that these meditations settle into my body, my mind and my heart,
and bring me such peace. Thank you!
Mary Ramerman Author
Dear Karen,
I love knowing you are meditating with us…you have such a calming presence always…thank you.
Julie Simmons
Thank you for this. It is refreshing for me to read something positive. When I was reading your entry and listening to your prayer, I felt a sense of peace and it allowed me to refocus on the importance of how we present ourselves to others. Something as simple as a genuine smile can make someone’s day better. Everyone is going through something that may be wearing them down. A smile or a kind word may brighten someone’s day or even provide a spark of hope. I am joining this blog late; honestly, I wasn’t even sure of what a blog is! I am going to read your past entries. Thank you and God bless you.
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