Oh, No He Didn’t!

Oh, No He Didn’t!

Today’s gospel offers us one of the most beautiful stories that Jesus told.  It’s about forgiveness and love, brokenness and healing. The story of the “Prodigal Son” was Jesus’ response to the religious authorities grumbling about the company he was keeping. They could not understand why a respectable person like Jesus – who supposedly was from God – would spend all his time with “tax collectors and sinners.” In the gospels, that phrase is a way of describing all of the people whom society has rejected.  Yet these are the very people who sought Jesus out. His words and his ministry spoke to them directly, and he welcomed them in his presence.

Not too long ago, I wrote in my journal, “Anyone who has been hurt needs to know somehow that they are good.” Jesus is trying to do that today, and he paid particular attention to the people who had been hurt by social systems. But he wants us all to know this.

There are really so many ‘moments’ in this story that Jesus’ audience would have gasped at as Jesus was telling it.  In modern times, if we told a story like this in a larger crowd, we’d likely hear someone say, “Oh no he didn’t!” or “Get. Out!” at various parts of the story, like:

The younger son asks for his share of the inheritance BEFORE his father is even dead.  Oh no he didn’t!

And then the son takes the family money and blows it on sex, drugs and partying. Get. Out!

The son then comes back. Oh no he didn’t!

His father runs to welcome him. Get. Out!

The father throws a party for him. Oh no he didn’t!

The older brother refuses to go in. Get. Out!

The word “prodigal” means excessive, and pretty much every character in this story does excessive things.  The youngest son is excessively selfish. The older brother is excessively obedient and then angry and jealous. And the father is excessively generous and forgiving.

Jesus was trying to make the point that God is like the father in this story – willing to give us everything, willing to take us back, willing to celebrate our return. God is not concerned with where we’ve been or what we’ve done.  God is not out to punish people. God wants our change of heart (metanoia) and seeks to help us to realign ourselves with living in way that makes the beloved community possible in our midst – beloved community for humans and all of creation.

Whenever I read this story, I also want to acknowledge what feminist and other scholars have noticed long ago – where’s the mom? It’s certainly a good question and one that deserves further reflection.  Truth is, we don’t know. She could have died.  She could have been erased through patriarchy. Or Jesus could have just told the story without this character.

I think about her, however, as the fourth actor in this drama.  I imagine that she could have been the one behind the scenes who processed everything with the father. Maybe she was the one who encouraged him to, “Give him his share…” or “Go meet him!” or “Give him a party…” And she may have been the one to say to her other son, “Please come inside…” I think about her as the one who may have urged everyone to open their hearts further and become more loving and forgiving.  And speculating about her helps me to reflect on all the people who have helped me to become more loving and forgiving who are not necessarily part of the stories I am in right now but shaped me along the way.

Today’s story offers us so many vantage points to consider. 

Maybe we relate to the father.  Someone has hurt or betrayed us and we’re working to forgive them.  Maybe we’re trying to work through desires to shame someone or keep bringing up what they’ve done. Perhaps we’re not ready to run down the road to greet them or throw a party for them, but we’re trying.

Maybe we relate to the youngest son.  We’ve been selfish and know we hurt someone, and we’re trying to figure out how to make amends and ‘return home’ – knowing full well that they may not accept us when we try to repair the harm we have done. Maybe we’re wondering, “What does repair require of us?”

Maybe we relate to the older brother.  Our hearts have hardened and we’re angry with someone else’s success or happiness.  We may have played by the rules, and yet still find ourselves unappreciated or unacknowledged. Life might feel very unfair to us.

Maybe we relate to the imagined mother.  We’re caught in conflicts that break our hearts. We’d like to intervene somehow but may not know how to. Or we’re trying to urge people to open up and love.

Maybe we relate to all of them at once.

For today know that God wants you to come back home. God’s message of love is for you – whatever burdens you, whatever you have done. Nothing could make God love you less than God already loves you, and God will run down the road to meet you when God sees you coming. God wants all of us to come home, and to be agents in the world of sending that message to others. Lent is such a great time to do that.

20 Comments

    Maureen

    Wow, Mike. Thank you. You have given us so many new ways so sit with this story. And I LOVE your inclusion of the Mom

    Peter Veitch

    This is a beautiful reflection. I wonder what form the family dynamic would have taken once the ‘shine wore off.’
    Absent the father, the brothers would have been left to negotiate their toxic relationship, in some ways exacerbated by the actions of the father, however well meaning.
    I think we live in a world rife with conflict, religious fanaticism fueling hatred, right/left divides, greed, resentment, etc. In my opinion our global culture is symbolized by the brothers contentious relationship.
    I think you’ve hit on something very central to dismantling our toxic predicament:
    Where is the mother? Where are the sisters? The wives?
    Where are the women?
    When we attempt to construct meaning without women we’ll always be headed for disaster. It’s far past time for a global paradigm shift.
    Thank you!

    Janet Burrows

    Hold On he’s, she’s coming!! Tough journey forgiving, tough journey being rejected. BUT what JOY, receiving love, acceptance again!!

      Marianna Beigel

      I am very much in agreement with Peter that our “culture is symbolized by the brothers’ contentious relationship.” We look for power by not only “cancelling” those we disagree with but insisting that everyone else cancel their humanity too to meet some idea of purity in thought and action. This applies to all segments of the political and social spectrum. We actively shun the act of forgiveness and have forgotten that true power comes from forgiveness.

        Mike Boucher Author

        Thanks, Marianna, and I appreciate that you are reflecting on the reading AND the comments. I love when a dialogue starts to emerge!

    Mary Ann

    WOW- I will be reading this again and again Mike. Thank you for thinking about the Mom in this story. I automatically put myself in the older brother’s situation (oldest in my family). However, now I see myself reflected in so many parts of the story. I have a lot to learn and think about and I thank you so much for this illumination!

      Mike Boucher Author

      Mary Ann, I appreciated that you “re-placed” yourself in the story, and I think that’s such a powerful way to keep getting something new and different from the readings.

    Mary Denn

    This is one of your very best, Mike. Each character gives us so much to think about. Like how you included Mom.

    Monica Haag Anderson

    Appreciate your powerful insight into all of your blogs, especially ones like this that we’ve heard over and over.

      Mike Boucher Author

      thanks, Monica. This is a true challenge – to keep finding new meanings in the familiar. I know that I try to tune in to a lot of other perspectives and listen to how they read passages like this – ever offering me a different take.

    Barbara Simmons

    So much to ponder here. Thank you for introducing a mother as someone who may have had an influence in the outcome of this parable. I can relate to everyone in this story. Thank you, Mike.

    Claire Benesch

    As it is with many, this story is one of my very favorites to meditate on. I love Rembrandt’s painting and Henri Nouwen’s book on The Return of the Prodigal Son. If you look at the father’s hands in the painting, you will notice that one is masculine and one is feminine. The interpretation of this is that the father in the story represents both father and mother and that since the father represents God, God assumes both roles for us.

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