(Note: Today’s guest blogger is Peter Veitch, OSB. Peter is a member of the Spiritus community, an artist, a retired RCSD school teacher, devoted spiritual seeker and member of the Benedictine order. We’re fortunate to have him lend his vision and reflections again today.)
‘God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in them.’
1 John 4:16
Yesterday the Spiritus LGBTQIA+/Allies Small Christian Community gathered at my house to celebrate Pride month with a cookout and mass. Lori Vail, pastor of Mary Magdalene Church was our guest celebrant. Tom Privitere led a homily discussion reflecting on the life of well-known Rochester queer activist Evelyn Bailey. We used the beautiful readings from the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart.
After Tom’s reflection folks in the circle with age ranges spanning decades from elders to youth shared reflections on a person whose shoulders they stand on. This phrase indicates a way maker, a person who may have lit our path. Many topics were discussed, stories which brought tears and laughter were shared. We all ended up feeling as though we had made new friends, even the beginnings of a ‘family of choice.’ Something so essential for our community.
We prayerfully commemorated the fiftieth anniversary of the Upper Lounge fire. The fire was started in a gay club in New Orleans intentionally, the arsonist leaving the doors chained to prevent victims from exiting safely. It was the deadliest attack on our community until the recent Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando. While human nature and the penchant for violence and terror seem to have remained the same over the decades, the response to these acts of violence and terror should give us hope.
After the Upper Lounge fire, no one was ever arrested, no public officials commented or offered support, there was a frosty silence. For many, the fire seemed a punishment for folks who were doing something wrong or shameful in gathering as a queer community. Some of the bodies of victims were never identified, because family members were too ashamed and fearful to admit their loved one had been in the Upstairs Lounge that evening.
The nationwide and international reaction to the Pulse shooting was the exact opposite. Community immediately mobilized, family members and loved ones of the victims spoke up. There was outrage, public displays of sympathy and solidarity, media coverage and a compassionate response. Our culture over the fifty years seems to have significantly changed.
Strength and safety for LGBTQIA+ folks have always been centered on community. We learned in the early years of the AIDS crisis to put aside differences, working together to attend to a crisis many of our families, most of our churches, our communities and national government initially ignored. Public reaction to AIDS was almost identical to the reaction in New Orleans in 1973. They brought this on themselves, they deserve it, was the prevailing sentiment.
The first time I attended Corpus Christi Church was my friend David’s funeral. Unlike the churches hosting funerals of other gay men who died in the early years of the AIDS epidemic, the funeral at Corpus genuinely honored and celebrated the person David was. The real David. The music he performed in drag impersonating Vicki Carr and Barbra Streisand was woven into the celebration. This was revolutionary stuff for a Roman Catholic parish in 1991. Most gay men had experienced our church as an adversary, but what was happening at Father Jim’s church on Main Street in Rochester was radically different. The love of God could be experienced in that community. Real love: the love of tears, grief shared, laughter, hugs, genuine compassion, healing, acceptance, community, even family.
It has been an honor to serve as co-facilitator for the Spiritus LGBTQIA+/Allies SCC with Lauren Urzetta. It is a gift to serve a church community that has been so central to my faith journey for over thirty years. Our Small Christian Community is growing. It is a vibrant community within a community. If you are reading this reflection, you are invited to participate, we need you! Now more than ever our community needs the support of our straight allies. Please don’t wait to love us after a tragic fire, mass shooting or deadly epidemic. We need you right now.
Consider attending the Pride month baseball game, walk with us in the parade, come to our Pride weekend mass in July, attend one of our monthly gatherings. Please don’t worry that you don’t have anything in common with us, in the LGBTQIA+ community we don’t even have everything in common with each other! You might be the mom or grandmother a young person in our community needs desperately. Maybe you’re the guy who can heal the hurt left behind by the dads and brothers who have rejected some of us. These are the kind of miracle stories that can happen if you just show up where you have been called.
God is LOVE! Let’s create and share that love with each other.
Happy Pride, Spiritus!
Brother Peter
3 Comments
Sebastian Petix
I can recall as far back as 65 years ago that my mother accepted a gay nephew after his father threw him out of the house. Her support for him has been a guiding principle for the family which has since accepted openly gay members including my son, nephew and cousins.
Barbara Simmons
Back in the 80’s my cousin’s friend returned to Buffalo after living in San Francisco and contracting AIDS. His parents allowed him in the house but he had to eat his meals separate from the family and use paper plates and throw away utensils. My mother invited him and my cousin for dinner. When they came into her house Tony, the man with AIDS, told my mom that he would eat apart from the others if she wanted him to. My mom said absolutely not. You are my guest and you are sitting at the table with all of us. You are always welcome here with no conditions. Tony is now living in Palm Springs and he has told me more than once how much my mother’s kindness meant to him. Sib, we learned valuable lessons from our mothers.
Barbara Simmons
Thank you, Peter, for this reflection. It pains me terribly that society continues to malign the LGBTQIA community. I am grateful for the love and acceptance Spiritus Christi offers to all people, and I am so appreciative of the large LGBTQIA presence at Spiritus because people feel safe and valued there. We are one humanity and we have to be the example to others of what that means. Diversity in our ethnicity, nationality, sexual orientation, or gender identification, makes us stronger. We are all tasked with educating those who do not understand this to be true.
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