Words, Words, Words

I think about today’s first reading a lot in my life.

Isaiah reminds us that God’s word goes out into the world and sets things in motion.

Our words are the same.  What we say goes out into the world – and into people’s lives – and sets things in motion. We probably all can tell stories of how someone’s words uplifted and affirmed us.  And we all can probably tell stories of how someone’s words tore us down or hurt us.  We might also pay attention to the words we use to talk to ourselves – are they harsh and critical or kind and supportive? The affirmation or harm from words can last a long time, and being mindful of our words can be such an important practice during Lent.

In the Buddhist tradition, they might use the term “right speech” to address this reality, and I recently came across some teachings from the great Vietnamese Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh. He reminds us that our words can help create suffering or happiness and that we need to work to cultivate skills of using our words to contribute to peace, compassion and justice.

He notes that in our modern era, “We have lost our capacity to say things calmly. We get irritated too easily. Every time we open our mouths, our speech becomes sour or bitter [and that] we have lost our capacity for speaking with kindness.”  He says that the words we use can often be clumsy and cause “internal knots” in others that are not easily undone.  He goes on to acknowledge that we do, in fact, “have the right to tell another everything in your heart” – especially if they have caused you harm somehow.  But he maintains that it be done with “loving speech.” He invites us to “open your mouth and speak only when you are sure you can use calm and loving speech. You have to train yourself to be able to do so.” [1]

That is why we must practice and be mindful of our words. And this is not easy when we are in the midst of strong emotions.

Perhaps for today, we can notice words.  The words we say.  The words that are said to us.  The words other people use.  The words we use in prayer (we didn’t take it up in this blog, but the gospel today is related to the words Jesus teaches us to use in prayer and merit a whole reflection of their own!). The words we read. The words we write. The words we use for ourselves.

What words (if any) do you have for God today?  What words does God have for you?

Speaking of words: I am often in a lot of circles where people will introduce themselves by name and pronouns.  For example, I might say, “Hi my name is Mike, my pronouns are he/him.” While this practice has become more common in recent years, it can still be confusing for some who may not have encountered it before or not know what it means. Furthermore some people dismiss, mock or attack the practice.

Yet for non-binary, queer and gender fluid people, these words carry important meaning. They actually carry important meaning for ALL of us, but for those of us with identities that are supported by a gender binary (like me), we may not have had to do any reflection on pronoun use.  The reality is that not everyone relates to a binary understanding of gender, and the words people use to describe themselves helps people become visible in ways that are meaningful for them. Using the words people identify with is a way to affirm and respect people and to create a sense of welcome and inclusion. That’s just one of the reasons why we’d ask about people’s pronouns.

Maybe during Lent, we can make it a point to practice using pronouns and pay attention to the words people use for themselves and honor those words.

[1] Thich Nhat Hanh’s quotes were retrieved from https://plumvillage.app/the-fourth-mindfulness-training-deep-listening-and-loving-speech/